BigNTall.org

My parents love to tell the story that they got off easy for many years of my childhood when they'd tell me I could go anywhere I wanted for my birthday and without hesitation I'd blurt out "Krystal!!". Well a five year old can only eat so many dime hamburgers, and I've more than made up for my early unpretentiousness with yearly trips to the likes of Atlanta landmarks The Renaissance Waverly Sunday 500 item buffet and Fogo de Chao (a Churrascaria).

But Krystal's always been with me. But for the fact that they're absolutely toxic little grease bombs in the long term, I'm sure I would have figured out a way by now to have them delivered via pneumatic tube to my home at the press of a button.

And now I find out not only that there's a Krystal eating contest, but the record is 42 Krystals in 8 minutes! I can't help but wonder how someone, given unlimited quantities of Krystals could eat ONLY 42 in 8 minutes. I'm pretty sure I could inhale 42 Krystals in a single breath ("What's that giant sucking sound?" Ross Perot, 1992). I am seriously going to enter this contest. I don't know what the prize is (details to follow), but I'll go ahead and plan on spending it. And really - 42 free Krystals is kind of its own prize, don't you think?

So - and as much for my own reference as anything... The Krystal Square Off 2006.

Wonder if you bring your own cardiologist?